Beauty Pageants or Stupid Pageants

Just another example why Beauty Pageants, and all those involved, should be sent to a remote deserted island and forced to battle the elements. For those of you who live in a box…or have a real life and don’t have time to search the web for pointless videos, there’s a brand new story unfolding. For the past few weeks the Miss Teen USA Beauty Pageant (you know, the ones that look like the really really hot girls at the movie theater that come up to you and ask you to buy them a ticket for a rated R movie) has been going on. Look I know what you thinking… “Jeez Johnny no one cares about the winner, but do you know if they are going to do Playboy in 5 years”? The answer to your question is, “I don’t know, but I sure hope so”. Anyways, I’m not here to talk about the winner, I’m here to talk about one of the losers….the beautiful, the extravagant, the uhhhh not so intelligent Ms. Teen South Carolina.
I’m sure most of you know how the final round of beauty pageants works in general. They line up all the babes and ask them the world’s dumbest questions and see what these soon to be Nobel Prize winners have to say. Sadly after hearing Mrs. South Carolina’s response….I don’t see a Nobel Prize anytime soon in her future. The question she gets asked is basically, “One fifth of Americans cannot find the USA on a map, why is that”? Look with all due respect she could have said anything like, “Well I think Americans are stupid” or “Americans don’t care about maps” or even “I cannot answer this question because it is culturally biased”. But no, what does she say, something along the lines of we need to educate the Americans in Iraq and South Africa so they will help the Americans in the US. I’ve watched this video about 50 times, each time losing more and more brain cells, still very confused on what this young lady is trying to say. Seriously, after watching this video I felt I had to go back and study my times tables. I mean didn’t she think it was weird that she was talking about how Iraq was part of the US but she never met Ms. Teen Iraq???
Although this video is hysterical and it really shows how stupid people can be, I kind of don’t feel that this girl should be ashamed by her answer. Look she tried her best and she fell short…really short, but that’s OK you can get up on that horse and give it another try. However, she should be ashamed at the fact that during her speech a washed up AC Slater laughed right in her face…and that ladies and gentlemen, is something really hard to bounce back from. That is why as of today I’m starting a movement calling for all Beauty Pageant contestants to take a simple entry exam before competing. The exam will consist of three questions:
What is your name?
What state are you from?
Is Iraq part of the United States?
No / Yes / Not sure *

*If the contestant answers anything else besides No for question 3, he/she will be subjected to being slapped across the face with a tire iron.