We have come a long way as humans. We've invented the sowing machine, the steam engine, computers, and the internets. We've also invented a way to fight the aging process by butchering ourselves, slicing, dicing, nipping, and tucking. Of course, the above was all a painfully long set up for today's topic - plastic surgery.
Since when is it wrong to look your age? Take Katie Couric for example. She'd be a great looking forty-something year old. But now, her face has a perma-grin on it. When she looks at the camera, that evil grin tells me that she's planning on killing me. Or eating babies. Her mouth looks like Jack Nicholson's in Batman (the Michael Keaton/Tim Burton one).
Or Nicole Kidman. I've always had a thing for her, but recently she's started looking permanently scared and manequinn like. Don't get me wrong - 97% of all guys have looked at a manequinn and
been like "Man, I'd love to f*ck that." The other 3% of guys have actually tried and ended up disappointed, splintered, and at times, under arrest.
This is my appeal to women - please stop with the plastic surgery already. I don't mind small boobs. They're nice, cuddly, and portable. Your lips don't have to look like Whoopi Goldberg's. You can have wrinkles! It's ok...
If you want to look younger than you are, take care of yourself. Eat right, exercize, and take supplements. It's hard work to look younger than you are, but if vanity is that friggin' important - treat your body right. Don't rely on the knife to do it for you...you vain f*ck.
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2 comments:
I wonder if women that have had a lot of plastic surgery smell like new action figures...
If they do - please disregard the entire post. I now encourage everyone to butcher themselves in the name of smelling like new action figures! (or new car if you can somehow pull that off...)
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