Thursday, August 23, 2007

Jesus Christ.

Jared Hutchins, 16, believes that the Beatles were a big problem in his life… Bro, you’re 16 you were born in 1991. John Lennon died in 1980… What’s the disconnect here? Unless Paul McCartney has been prank calling you I really don’t see how the Beatles could be a problem in your life.

Jared is a part of a Christian youth group and they attended an “Acquire the Fire” (great name, sounds like everyone is getting the clap) rally in Atlanta, Georgia. It is a music festival in which Christian “Rock” Bands play and talk (preach) about the negative sides of (being normal and having fun) pop culture. The rally seeks to “stage a reverse revolution” you know like the industrially revolution but they would rather take horses and buggies and shit in the woods. Socially speaking I guess no drugs, no sex, but only Christian rock and roll.

Ron Luce, 46 year old (ring leader) founder of the organization has “waged a modern-day crusade against "purveyors of popular culture," whom he has condemned as "the enemy."” Ok this sounds very normal. I understand what their attempt is here, but do they have to sound super militant and preachy? Why not just live the way they want to and let me drink and have sex with multiple partners without protection???? It gets stranger as our boy Ron continued:

"We're fighting for those who don't know they have a voice, that are being manipulated by our pop culture indulging in things that, really, they're not mature enough to be thinking about yet," Luce told CNN.
"Kids are hurting," he said. And of those who he feels inflict these moral wounds, Luce said, "We call them terrorists, virtue terrorists, that are destroying our kids."
"They're raping virgin teenage America on the sidewalk, and everybody's walking by and acting like everything's OK. And it's just not OK."

I just really don’t know where he is coming from. The Beatles are amazing and although I admit Britney Spears’s second album killed me inside a little bit when I heard it I wouldn’t consider her a terrorists. Although the head shaving thing was crazy. I think they should come up with a new name for their enemies. Pop Culture is the lamest thing I have ever heard. Pop Culture means what is in at the time, so if this “reverse revolution” happens then they will become Pop Culture and I am pretty sure that they will be forced to kill themselves. And then at the end there will be like two guys fighting on top of a pile of dead bodies. One will have a sword and the other one will have his knocked away. He will say “No, no, no don’t kill me.” And the other guy will be all like, “I have to, you are pop culture” Then the guy with no sword will go “but if you kill me then the only person left will be you and then you will be pop culture!!!” (Lightening strikes) then he looks up at the sky and screams “WHY GOD WHY!” then I come out all drunk and with hundreds of chicks and kill them both and repopulate the world.

What you think they would have gotten me? Maybe you, but me… NO WAY


Mr. Murdoch said...

Honestly, I don't even know what I wrote here... I was at work late and mad about it and some how this came out...

Kramer said...

That was good. I like your side comments in the paranthesis. However, how did the Beatles ruin this kids life? You went off on a tangent.