"I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time."
Suicide is never a funny topic, but in this case it is really really close to being funny. You know what I would do if I was a millionaire, that was doing hot chicks, acting in movies, NOT working in an office everyday slowly getting cancer from florescent lighting. I would defiantly kill myself. I would be way to sweet for this world and I would need to move on… wait a minute, no I wouldn’t I would… live, spend money, do chicks, and eat pizza.
Maybe he was really depressed and that brought about this cry for help. Hasn’t he ever heard of buying happiness? What you do is place a 100 dollar bill out of your fly and wait. Bam happiness. You could fly to New Zealand and go surfing and spelunking and have fun but really learn a lot about yourself. Bam happiness. You can pay someone to pick out all the brown cereal in Lucky Charms so you are left with only marshmallows. Bam happiness.