The Lure of the Mustache

Okay, what I'm about to tell you is a true story. Why is it true? Well, that I don't know.

Mustaches attract younger women.

There, I said it. That's right, read it again. Don't ask me why. They're like magnets. Loki and I were at the mall today trying to see what a Beryl looked like. We decided to be sneaky about it and therefore decided that fake mustaches would be the best course of action. Since there were no halloween stores open yet, we went to Spencers and bought one of those Groucho Marx big nose/glasses/mustache dealies.

We proceeded to rip off the mustache and eyebrows and taped them onto our faces. Within minutes, girls were coming up to us and asking us where we got them, and generally obeying our orders.

We here at Please Everyone Shutup are dedicated to the pursuit of science and will therefore conduct an experiment on the matter. If any of our readers have some experience with mustaches (mustache rides, mustache grooming, etc.) please let us know. Especially let us know if you're a lady-type and what a mustache does for you.

Who wants a mustache ride? I do, I do!