Thursday, July 10, 2008

Brooke Knows Best…More Like Show Me Your Breasts!!!



Recently Brooke Hogan did an interview with the associated press regarding her career, her new show, and of course her family. What I have in store for you today is something magical…like Aladdin’s magic carpet magical, or like magic mushrooms magical. As most of you know in my spare time I like to sleep, play video games, and decode messages for the CIA. Hence my ability to decode Brooke Hogan’s answers to these difficult, and emotional questions.

AP: What made you want to do another reality show?

What Brooke Said: The first four times we did the reality show, I didn't have my stuff together with my music career. So this time, I'm like, all right, I have to start recording an album and using this TV show to my benefit, other than just letting these cameras come into my life to make ratings (laughs). And plus, I have to admit I really do miss the guys when they're gone, because they're like built-in family now, all the cameramen and stuff. So it's like, "Ah man, I really hate being followed all the time, but OK, come back. You guys are cute." (Laughs.)

What Brooke Meant: Since I’m a terrible singer and like 7 feet tall, my choices were kind of limited. I mean it was either make money by using my family name, or try out for the WNBA.

AP: Do you think the Hogan reality show helped tear your family apart?

What Brooke Said: I don't think a camera and a cameraman can destroy a family. I mean, they're not part of the family. But I think that it was the pressure of the cameras being there and the pressure of being on guard and not really being able to let your feelings fly, like if you are mad at somebody. Let's just say my parents were fighting; they couldn't just let it all out on national television. So I think it kind of suppressed it to the point where it almost let it explode, but I think that it would have come sooner or later.

What Brooke Meant: Well, it helped make us filthy rich so I guess win some lose some would be the best way to sum it up. I mean my mom went nuts, my brother almost killed someone, my dad turned into Ebenezer Scrooge, but I got a new reality show.

AP: Do you think the strain of your brother's problems played a role in your parents' breakup?

What Brooke Said: It takes two to tango, and it was my mom and dad, they had problems. And it's not the camera crew that tears it apart, it's not Nick's accident that tears it apart, it's just that those things add more stress so I think that to every cloud there's a silver lining, and I think that they almost saved my parents from their marriage going any farther down a destructive road.

What Brooke Meant: (I have no idea what she is talking about. I think the clouds are a metaphor for her buttocks, but I’m not sure.)

AP: How have you dealt with your brother not being around?

What Brooke Said: It's really, really hard because I feel like our whole lives I was able to protect him ... and now I had to watch him walk away in handcuffs and I couldn't do anything about it. It's hard because he's like my best friend. I mean, I have friends, but my brother is really the one person who I can confide in and talk to about anything. So it's tough because everything that we talk about now is recorded. And we saw what happened with that.

What Brooke Meant: My brother is a really good looking guy. I mean, he works out a lot so he’s obvi got tight lats and abs that I could iron my shirt on. The whole conjugal visit thing is getting old now, but hey, it was fun while it lasted!

AP: How did you and your mother get so far apart?

What Brooke Said: My mother and I naturally have a tremendous bond, there's like a bond that you just can't break with us. ... Right now I'm just really disappointed with her and I feel like I wish I could talk to her, but you just can't. It's one of those kind of things where, I am a very straight-laced person and maybe that makes it even harder for me to see the path that she's going down as being right, but I look at her now and I'm like, "You were my hero at one point. Why are you making these weird choices?" I don't understand it. I definitely don't condone what's going on. I definitely don't think it's cool who she's dating. I think it's ridiculous but at the end of the day she's my mother and I will still respect her and love her but right now ... I just have to love her from a distance for now.

What Brooke Meant: My mom is currently riding a guy the same age as me. I don’t how she lands these hotties. I mean I’m the younger one, I have my own show, and yet my mom is getting all the attention. My mom is such an attention whore it makes me so angry. Don’t forget to watch Brooke Knows Best premiering Sunday night!

AP: Were you at one point as disappointed in your dad?

Hogan: My dad and I had a little bit of a tiff earlier this year and that kind of stuff I really don't want to talk about now, but I was disappointed for a minute. But what I respect about my dad is he comes forth and he tells the truth, and he's a very honorable person, I respect him a lot. He, I know deep down, has a good heart. Honesty with me goes such a long way that once the truth comes out and that person can be man enough to tell you the truth, it gives me an even higher respect for them than before.

What Brooke Meant: I’m only famous because my dad is the greatest wrestler of all time (yes as a child I was a Hulk-a-maniac). I mean it was his money and his fame which brought me into the spotlight. I may act stupid as some points…but I’m not retarded, I’m not gonna bad mouth the man who paid for everything for me. LOVE YOU DADDY!

AP: Are you dating anyone?

What Brooke Said: I was actually dating somebody that I've actually known since I was 15, and that was a great experience and I'm still really, really close to him and I still really love him but we just recently kind of broke it off, so it didn't seem right anymore. So as of right now I'm single.

What Brooke Meant: Now that I’m famous I can’t be seen with an average Joe. Seriously, I’m Brooke Hogan, you need at least 20 million in the bank before you even speak to me.

AP: Will we see your romantic side in the new show?

What Brooke Said: You'll see a little bit of the romantic side. I went on a couple of dates. Some of them were disasters and some of them were really, really great. You'll just have to find out! I'm not going to tell you everything about it.

What Brooke Meant: Put it this way…my gynecologist is now speed dial number 2. Number 1 is reserved for my daddy!

Interview Source : HERE

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