Brett Favre Applies for Reinstatement

I'm not sure if this is news or not, but I know nobody has heard it yet. Today, around 4pm EST, Brett Favre applied for his reinstatement back to football. Apparently he could not wait to be back on the field, carrying his teammates to certain victory. Are you shocked? I know I am. I remember that day he was all crying being like "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth" then subsequently got Lou Gehrig's Disease and died. Wait, wrong thing. But he was really sad.

Wait, you know that he's applied for reinstatement for the Packers already? And you've known about this for weeks now? Oh, well, I'm not talking about the Packers. In a PESUP exclusive, we have learned that Mr. Favrarevea (however you pronounce it) is applying to be reinstated by the NCAA so that he can go back to becoming the quarterback of the Golden Eagles of the University of Southern Mississippi.

When asked why he took so long to render this decision, Favre responded:

Well, I had never intended on graduating. They asked me, but I felt as if I was under the gun at the time, and I wasn't ready to make a decision. I felt bad leaving the fan base and leading them on, so I told them I would graduate, knowing full well I wasn't ready. I know my body can make a return to college football, plus the cheerleaders are hot and young.

When asked to comment, the USM spokesperson referenced that Brett was out of academic eligibility, and that he had finished his coursework in Education (with focus on special education), and had exercised his full 4 years of NCAA eligibility.

Brett was then quoted as saying:

All I'm asking for is my shot to try and compete. I know I can win behind the USM offensive line. But if USM will not allow me to pursue a starting quarterback position, I will attempt to transfer to Florida State, Florida, Miami, Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas, Texas Tech, Tulane, or any school on USM's schedule during the year. If I am unable to do this, I will go back to my high school in Kiln, Mississippi. Cause hey, high school girls are hot.