Monday, July 14, 2008
ALERT: Eligible Bachelorette!
Oh Khloe Kardashian, where have you been my whole life?
Not only is Khloe a no-name flatso who is only famous because her father was a lawyer on the O.J. Simpson case and her sister was in a sex tape, but she somehow managed to get even hotter.
Khloe (man, I hate typing out that f'ing name) will be heading to jail for violating her probation after receiving a DUI this past March. In other words, she's going to jail for not picking up trash on the highway and for not attending an alcohol education program. How cool is she?!
Now my fantasies of lovely Khloe behind bars, sweaty, and enjoying being sodomized by the night stick of a stern, but caring, bull-dyke prison guard can finally come to fruition. Bless you, Khloe. The rest of you single guys can go find your own loud, obnoxious, soon-to-be ex-con fattie - this one's taken!