Madonna is...yeah, you figure it out...

source: Splash News

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I can't imagine what the one above is worth. If you asked me yesterday, "Say, Loki, would you throw Madonna a bone?" I would've replied, "That's an odd question considering I don't fucking know you, but yeah, I'd take that old 3-speed out for a spin."

I think after today, if you asked anyone that question, you'd receive roughly 7 billion "No's" and one "hell yes, she's my fucking soul mate, dude."

Madonna looks terrifying. She looks like she got in a bare-knuckle brawl with Dalton from Roadhouse and won (not surprising with those sinewy Alien-like arms). In her old age, she's become a horribly disfigured bobblehead. And I don't like to make fun of kids, but please - take that chia-pet to a salon and get those eyebrows waxed! It's hard enough being young, now try growing up as a bi-racial girl with an estranged father (living in a different country), and having two caterpillars glued to your forehead! I think this throbbing vein in my head is about to pop.

By the way...that picture is worth exactly 162 words.