Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Paris Hilton Effect

Ok. It started out with Paris Hilton. It moved to Kim Kardashian. Then all of a sudden Miley Ray Cyrus/Hannah Montana/Hope Destiny Cyrus and Amy Winehouse are gracing the pages of magazines everywhere. Now, I wanna know where all these people came from? Paris Hilton's dad was a cheap hotel and mother a whore. So naturally, she was famous for having sex on video. Kim Kardashian's father was a lawyer for OJ Simpson and mother is a baboon (with puffy ass). So naturally, she's famous for having sex on video copying Paris. Miley Ray Cyrus's dad was a mullet that created one of the most overplayed and redneck songs on earth, and mother is a mullet aficionado. So naturally she is a kiddie star that dresses up in a wig a la superman and all of a sudden she has a secret identity. Plus she posed with her back naked in a photo and a shitstorm ensued. And Amy Winehouse. Her father is a crack vial, and her mother is a beehive? So naturally, she is a crackhead with a beehive on top, with a side of scabs, and apparently she sings songs about not going to rehab that really aren't that good lyrically or artistically, but she's really funny looking, so she must be good.

Now, my question. How did all of these people become famous? Back in the day, Paris Hilton did a few things for Rick Salomon, and she earned her praise. Sorta. But where the hell did these 3 tabloid queens come from? Just because your father died of the OJ curse (think, Kardashian, Johnnie Cochran) doesn't mean you should get your own tv show and end up in the news all the time. And Miley, just cause your dad's picture is in the dictionary under "one-hit wonder" and "mullet" doesn't mean that you can go bein all famous. And finally, Amy Winehouse. How did she get famous? Her daddy didn't even do anything. Except introduce her to crack. But she ain't goin to rehab.

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