Monday, May 12, 2008

Mortal Kombat Pussified

When I was in 4th grade there were three big things: Boyz 2 Men, Starter Jackets, and Mortal Kombat. Both Starter Jackets and Boyz 2 Men are dead but apparently Mortal Kombat continued to make games. I remember when Mortal Kombat came out. That game was the shit A,B,A,C,A,B,B.

They are currently on their 8th installment of the series. Is this news? Not really… However they are taking a new attempt at the game that was so loved and endeared. First they are adding characters from DC comics. So now you can have Scorpion fight Superman, Sub Zero vs. Batman. Sounds great right? Especially if Robin the boy wonder is in the game, I would love to kick the shit out of him. Well with the addition of the DC Comic heroes comes the partnership of DC and MK. DC are comics for children so they could not be apart of this deal without MK giving up some of its blood and violence.

Yes, you know where this is going. Mortal Kombat is eliminating fatalities. That’s right; they are getting rid of the one part of the game that differentiated them from other games. They are doing away with the one thing that basically built this franchise. You will no longer be able to rip a man’s head off and have his spine swinging in the wind. You will no longer be able to pull a man’s heart out and let it beat in your hand. Tearing a man’s arms off and beating him to death, gone.

Think about this from a business stand point. Would 711 get rid of the Slurpy? Would McDonalds stop selling French Fries? Would Lindsay Lohan quit drinking? NO!!! Why remove the thing that makes you different from the competition. Damn you.

1 comment:

Mr. Book said...

Well, it seems as if Mortal Kombat's final move is performing a fatality on itself. Please tell me you can still do friendships though, those were great and completely not gay. I remember having to say "no homo" when I peformed a friendship in that game.