Hulkmania

Well folks. It's official. Hulkmania will reach its biggest heights since the 80's and the mid-90's when the Hulkster body slammed Yokozuna at Summer Slam (wearing tight white-wash jeans no less). After the press latched onto the tapes of the family calling little Nicky trapped up in prison for a stupid accident, the shit really hit the fan. So he was 16 and driving. So he didn't make his buddy wear a seat belt. So he was a bit drunk. So he was speeding big time. So he was racing one of his buddies. So he totalled the car into a tree. So he was "miraculously" unhurt while the other guy had to have a baseball-sized chunk taken out of the front of his skull (I'd post the picture but he looks like a scary mannequin, and it's just wrong to poke fun at him). America, you're missing the point! It's ok! His dad did lots of steroids and fought what amounts to a choreographed dance with other steroid-filled meatheads while some guy in the background collecting the money decided which one deserved a gold belt that would make Elton John blush.

I mean, the poor kid got 8 months in prison. EIGHT MONTHS! Just think, 30 years ago without all of the technology we have now, poor Nick Allan "Hogan" Bollea would still be in prison during his buddy's funeral! Plus, according to the whole Hogan clan, the media does not know the whole story. Here's Hulk's take: (from here)

Hulk Hogan: "Well, I don't know what type of person John was, (he WAS a guy with a full brain and skull) or what he did to get himself in this situation, (he got into the car with your son) I know he was pretty aggressive and he used to yell at people and he used to do stuff, (note the use of "used to do stuff") but for some reason God layed some heavy s#%t on that kid, man. I don't know what he was into."

Nick Bollea: "John was a negative person."

Hulk Hogan: "He was what?"

Nick Bollea "He was a negative person."(and that's why I tried to kill him)

And better yet Linda (mommy dearest) on the phone with little killer:

"She's not sad. She's just acting angry like she just wants the money," Linda Bollea said of John's mother, Debbie Graziano. "John never meant anything to her or Ed. It's just sad because I really appreciated you kids, and I just miss John. I miss you, too. She's not suffering. I am. I have the loss."

Ok. So her son is in the slammer (solitary confinement cause he's underage) for 8 months. She can't even get pregnant and have another child in that time. But SHE has the loss? The other guy will probably be a vegetable the rest of his life and a drain on his family's monetary and emotional welfare.

Ok. HOGANS, SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE F'IN RICH DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN PRACTICALLY KILL PEOPLE AND THEN WHINE ABOUT IT AS YOU SCHEME TO GET NEW REALITY TV DEALS AFTERWARDS. I hope these bastards never work in Hollywood again. And ya know what? I want all 12 of the Hulkster's championship belts taken back!