Monday, May 19, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Stolen Crystal Skull Bongs

Some believe that the ancient Mayan calendar predicted the end of days to be December 21st, 2012 based upon the supposed connection that the Mayans had with extra-terrestrials they believed to be gods. These gods bestowed upon them a series of 13 crystal skulls that would remain hidden in solitude until the day that humanity needed them most, and on that day, all 13 would be brought together in a line, and the world would be safe again.

Now. Add Shia LaBeouf and an alien-themed George Lucas-written fourth installment of Indiana Jones. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Now, all of this has caused some skullmania (PESU has copyrighted that, so you owe us 10 cents anytime you use it).

Alas poor Yorick... was a party dude

First issue (click on the picture): A crystal skull in a shop in Claremont, California, (believed to be 500-years-old) was stolen. This was the only item taken from the shop. My theory, the skull moved itself to be closer to its 12 brethren so that mankind can be saved from the horror that will be 2012.

Second issue (the link): In Houston, two men dug up a body and stole the skull. Only to turn it into a bong. Now that gratefully dead corpse is truly the world's first pot-head. I knew marijuana impedes your judgement, but no matter how f'ed up you get, who comes up with the idea to defile a dead man to smoke through what used to be his head? And the biggest question of all, can you really take a good hit from a skull?

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