Monday, May 19, 2008

Canadians Suck at Rough Sex


Reuters reports that a Canadian man almost died when, during a rough sex game, he asked his woman to carve a heart into the skin over his heart. Since she had been drinking, she pushed too hard and punctured his heart.

The man survived and the woman was given three years probation for assault (the man did not press charges; instead he is actually backing her).

Dear Canada,

Please let this be a lesson. Yes, you can keep stealing shit from America, but stop trying to put your own spin on it. You'll only end up hurting yourself.

For example:

American Rough Sex - pulling hair and slapping her ass

Canadian Rough Sex - stabbing your lover in the heart

American Bacon - delicious (even when it is turkey bacon)

Canadian Bacon - a crappy movie directed by Michael Moore

There's a difference. Trust me...you fuckin' socialist pigs.

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