Troyer Voyeur

Guess who's packin' 13 inches of meat and isn't gonna take it easy on you?

Dirk Diggler?

WARNING: Clicking on the picture below will bring you to TMZ.com. Sorry. Plus, gross material.



That's right. Those 13 inches comin' out of Dirk right there. Verne "Mini-me" Troyer. Has a sex tape. With that guy, even a virgin must be like a hot-dog down a hallway. I mean, I refuse to watch it based upon the principal that it's a MALE celebrity sex-tape, but I'm curious. Does the whole thing go in? And by whole thing, I mean his whole body. Cause I've seen some stuff on the internet, and he doesn't look much bigger than my two fists next to each other, or the wide-end of a champagne bottle.

I know most women are total whores that would sleep with any movie star, no matter how small, just because he's rich and famous and the girl needs that attention cause her dad did things to her when she was little, or wasn't there enough. But PUH-LEAZE. I bet he could use one of those little grippy things you get in the office supply closet so that you can flip pages and not cut your finger as a Magnum. And that's only if he's proportionally huge. I mean, the dude can't even walk normally cause it's like walking a mile every time he's gotta go to the fridge in the kitchen. Plus, his knees basically touch his ankles and hips. Well, at least we know he's bendy. I just hope he gets her pregnant so that there is this abomination porno as a documentary to the conception of this child. Yuck.

**UPDATE**

I've seen the picture of Mini-me making out with a girl that looks surprisingly like first Ug-O of the week recipient Amy Winehouse. But if you look in the background, you can clearly make out a copy of "Power Actor" sitting on the floor in what looks like a pile of clothes. Is Mini-me reading acting books to brush up for his home porno? I mean, we've all seen him act. He's Oscar-worthy already. He doesn't need that.