Friday, June 13, 2008
Finally, some justice.
Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, free at last!
Not since Dave Chappell's rendition of "R. Kelly's doo-doo butter" have I laughed so hard at something I saw on the Internet (besides this site of course!). R. Kelly my friends, is finally a free man. Apparently the jury didn't think a video-tape of the defendant and the under-age girl getting pissed-on was enough evidence to convict someone of peeing on and video-taping an underage girl.
We here at PESUP have been worrying that poor Robert Sylvester (sufferin' succotash) Kelly would be unjustly convicted, much like Orenthal James Simpson for his civil suit (later writing a book "if I did it" with an awfully striking description of what he would've done when he killed his wife and that waiter back in 1995).
Now R Kelly can FINALLY go back and finish chapters 23-3,000 of Trapped in the Closet for Murdoch to review. My bet is that the next chapter focuses in on what R Kelly's character would have done had he engaged in a threesome with a woman and an underage girl on videotape while pissing on her. Furthermore, I assume the two women would get "the package" (or AIDS) as well.
My guess is the jurors, sitting in their seats all day, were confused and thought they were all on Oprah Winfrey's show. After all, I heard when they reached down under their seats, they found keys to a new car, as well as envelops that read "open me if you think R Kelly is innocent" containing thousands of dollars. But that's just a guess.