Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Remember when we were cool?

Hey guys,

It's Book again. Remember when our readers used to be cool with us? And we would post and they would all comment on articles and vote? What happened to us? I mean, it seems like just yesterday we were telling stories of memories passed and there was love between us all. I don't care if you don't know me. I don't care if you only know Murdoch or Loki. And everyone knows McNugget didn't tell his friends. But he's lovable too. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can WE be friends? (Sorry, I got caught in a song sequence by that trickster Randy Newman.) Is it because I totally farted? Cause everybody does it. God. I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough...

I'm sorry for yelling. But I'm feeling nostalgic. Even the news today is nostalgic. Let me tell you a story.

A long time ago (like last year or something) in a place far, far away (New York City), there was a wise-old owl. The owl got paid to live in the dark of morning and go to sleep after the rush-hour was over. The owl would keep hooting about sports and news and really wasn't that funny, but he was an old owl, so it was ok. No one really paid too much attention to what the owl said until one day when he observed a group of Scarlet Knights playing a magical game with a hoop and a ball. When the owl called them "nappy-headed ho's", everyone and their mother wanted to kill the owl. But the owl apologized to everyone like a billion times. He went to God. He was sorry. He couldn't apologize enough...

So the owl disappeared for a while into a cave. While the owl was hiding, a Titan was hanging out with some friends trying to see some female Titans without their armor. One of the friends got really mad and paralyzed another person. This stopped the Titan from being able to play in the arena on Sundays. The Titan had to make himself over into a Cowboy in order to go back to the arena. After a long hard year of doing pretty much nothing, the Titan's transformation was almost complete. That's when the owl hooted again, calling into question the color of the new Cowboy's armor. But the owl said he was just trying to ask why Scarlet Knights and Black Titans were treated more unfairly than others.

I just think they're all stupid.


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