Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sitcom Wet Dreams



McNugget: Kelly Kapowski vs Winnie Cooper
Mr. Murdoch: Kelly is hella fine, she is like the dopest shit on the block, she dated both Zack Morris and A.C. Slater. Is this debate over now?
McNugget: not a chance in hell, you forgot to realize that Morris...although he appeared to be the man is actually a huge dork. Remember the episode when he came in dressed as a Native American for heritage day; he was the only one in the class to take it seriously. Also, Slater wore tight ass acid washed jeans, and tucked in his shirt. Plus he wrestled...in spandex
McNugget: Winnie cooper was giving Kevin Arnold handers on the bus ride home in like 6th grade
McNugget: how long did it take Morris to get real play from Kelly? Def took place during the college years

McNugget: what’s up now honky?
Mr. Murdoch: Shit, you obvs did see that shit then. Not only was Zack getting it but she took AC to the Dance off/ she dated a professor in the college years and he was at least 25. Bro this girl was legit
Mr. Murdoch: Oh and we want to talk about dorks. Kevin Arnold, are you kidding me, the opening credits he was jumping around like a pansy, and he couldn't even catch a football
McNugget: dude...when Winnie wasn’t sucking off Kevin Arnold in his family room she was busy chasing after upperclassmen

Mr. Murdoch: Bro Winnie Cooper was like a recluse during Halloween, you know she's got the goodies, but she ain't giving them out.

McNugget: when has Kelly ever flaunted anything?
McNugget: Winnie used to roll to school in her cheer uniform for no reason
McNugget: Winnie slept over Kevin’s house in like 7th grade
McNugget: you know they weren’t just sleeping
McNugget: also Winnie is just such an ill stripper name

Mr. Murdoch: bro Kelly was in that singing group
Mr. Murdoch: do you know how hot that group was?
Mr. Murdoch: Winnie is into math
McNugget: Kelly is into meth

McNugget: ok so Winnie may have been a bit of a nerd...but wouldn’t you like a girl that can tell you at what angle she wants you to be at in order to achieve maximum pleasure
Mr. Murdoch: maximum pleasure. That is a joke
Mr. Murdoch: more like a maximum nap
McNugget: Winnie was obvi dynamite in the sack...she was much more experienced than Kelly
Mr. Murdoch: that is because she is like 20 years older
McNugget: Winnie loves the cock]
McNugget: she can’t get enough of it

Mr. Murdoch: bro if you get Kelly you can prob rope Lisa turtle into a three way
Mr. Murdoch: and I know, I said I KNOW you can not argue with that
McNugget: yeah right....turtle was such a spoiled brat I would have to pay her like 10 grand just to take a picture with her.
Mr. Murdoch: You. Maybe, but not me.
McNugget: come on man...you know that since Winnie lived like 30 feet from Kevin Arnold she was def sneaking over there for some late night sausage
Mr. Murdoch: oh shit, do you have a Winnie Cooper?
Mr. Murdoch: haha are you tapping one of your neighbors
McNugget: no comment
Mr. Murdoch: a little Asian Winnie?
McNugget: I wish

McNugget: its time for me to end this argument...I’m brining out the big guns
McNugget: Winnie cooper let Kevin Arnold bang her in a fucking barn
McNugget: she lost her V-card in a barn to someone she wasn’t even dating at the time
Mr. Murdoch: wow, really?
McNugget: yes
McNugget: wow really

Mr. Murdoch: with hay on her butt?
McNugget: junior in HS and she’s getting drilled next to a cow
Mr. Murdoch: so like there were horses and poop all over?
Mr. Murdoch: holes in the roof? Dirt on the ground. Shit
Mr. Murdoch: that is like my number one fantasy

McNugget: all my life I’ve been looking to bang a girl in a smelly place...like my bedroom
McNugget: Kelly and Zack didn’t knock boots until wedding in Las Vegas made for TV movie

2 comments:

stowell said...

being a heterosexual girl and all, i'm not sure my opinion weighs in, but sorry, murdoch, i'm going with johnny on this one. you don't get terms like "the girl next door" for nothing. winnie cooper wins all.

in other news, your debates are my new favorite thing about PESU. well, your debates, and the random ads (hippos? autism? ...the wonder years? come on.).

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