Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hippo vs Bull

VS.


McNugget: 1 the bull is faster on open ground
McNugget: 2 the bull has horns
McNugget: and C have you ever seen the size of a bulls balls....thing must be pumped full of testosterone.


Mr. Murdoch: the bulls speed seems like a huge advantage but it is a little known fact that hippos have been clocked at over 30 mph on land
Mr. Murdoch: that isn't exactly standing still
Mr. Murdoch: the bulls horns seem to be an excellent weapon but after the original charge the most they can do is poke the mighty hippo,
Mr. Murdoch: the Hippos teeth will do much more damage
Mr. Murdoch: and well yeah the bull has huge balls but the hippo kills more humans a year then any other mammal in Africa.

McNugget: the bulls horns, when reached at top speed can easily penetrate the hippo’s skin, and it aimed at the eye would cause permanent damage
McNugget: a hippo could never fit a bull in his mouth
Mr. Murdoch: hippo has a huge mouth
McNugget: bull has a huge body
McNugget: how do you figure that the hippo could catch the bull?
McNugget: draw me a sketch
McNugget: seriously
Mr. Murdoch: it could easily crush anything
McNugget: anything?
McNugget: what about superman?
Mr. Murdoch: yup kryptonite teeth
Mr. Murdoch: if the bull attacked the hippo from the front, and didn't knock it out on first contact then the hippo would bit the bull and not let it go.

McNugget: hippos are gay
McNugget: half way through the fight it will get tired and go chill in pool of water somewhere
Mr. Murdoch: the hippo is bigger it out weights the bull, and def has the better weapon with its teeth
McNugget: the hippos average body mass along with its decreased amount of sebaceous glands don’t allow to be out in the sun for very long
McNugget: hence the term hippopotamus
McNugget: which in Latin I believe means "sun hate"
McNugget: also if the hippo is Hindu it cannot kill the bull.


Mr. Murdoch: you are over looking the simple fact that the hippo is truly the superior animal
Mr. Murdoch: people fight bulls
Mr. Murdoch: you will never see a person fight a hippo
McNugget: whoa whoa whoa
McNugget: first off
McNugget: wet backs fight bulls
Mr. Murdoch: yeah and if bulls can't even beat offensively gay dressed Mexicans then how is it going to beat a hippo?
McNugget: second, I fought a hippo last Friday night...she gave me her number but I threw it out...zing
Mr. Murdoch: everything always goes back to your attraction to fat chicks
McNugget: I don’t like fat chicks they just like me.


McNugget: the bull is smarter than the hippo
McNugget: if a hippo is so smart then answer me this
McNugget: if they need water to survive...why do they live in Africa
McNugget: tick tock tick tock
Mr. Murdoch: Nile River?
Mr. Murdoch: ha-ha
McNugget: psh
McNugget: hippos can’t use boats.


Mr. Murdoch: wait what says a bull is smarter? The don't like the color red, that seems pretty stupid
Mr. Murdoch: although I don't like clowns and that is pretty stupid but here i am, looking hot.
McNugget: uhh they can tell colors apart.


Mr. Murdoch: thanks wikipedia!!!!
McNugget: well I would have used encyclopedia Britannica but this isn’t 1996
Mr. Murdoch: yeah really that sucks for encyclopedias
McNugget: imagine if like your job was to write stuff for encyclopedias
McNugget: like what do you do now...become a cable installation person?
McNugget: plus your favorite singer is avril lavigne
Mr. Murdoch: well that is irrelevant
McNugget: I think it’s completely relevant
Mr. Murdoch: Hey hey, you you, I don't like your boyfriend
McNugget: shows you have no concept of good taste
Mr. Murdoch: taste? We aren't eating the bull and hippo

No comments: