China Wants to Control Weather, I Still Want to Bang Meghan Fox

Yes, what you have just read is correct. With the eve of the Olympics vastly approaching, with worldwide criticism about the pollution levels, Chinese scientists have developed a plan to control the weather for the games. I started to read the article, but then I realized that I saw the same plot on some stupid movie on the Sci-Fi channel at 2 am.

Whats great about this story is not only is is hysterical and retarded...we all know that China has a personal vendetta against Pesup. Basically, I can say whatever I want about the Chinese and they will never know. For example I can say the Chinese love to eat cooked dogs (which is really true). I could also say that the pollution in China makes the country smell like a wet sock, soaked in cow urine, and then shoved up the vagina of Rosie O'Donell for a week (I've never been to China, but I'm sure the smell is quite similar).

I mean really, what has China given the world besides chopsticks, gunpowder, kites, maps, puppet theater, restaurant menus...well apparently they have invented a lot, so does China really need to invent anything else? If this was high school China would be the nerd who sits in the front of the class answering every question and complaining about the lack of homework. Now USA on the other hand, would be the kid sitting behind the nerd, who just spent the entire class tying their shoelaces to the legs of the desk, so when they stand up they fall down, and inevitably miss the bus home from school and have to walk...in the rain. Also, the Chinese look like aliens to me so I win.

PS- Dear media people, It's the first week of August, can you please calm down with the back to school commercials and the constant playing of Don Henly's Boys of Summer. No wonder why so many kids commit suicide, summer is only half over and they are already being reminded of hell.