Friday, August 15, 2008

Ellen Degeneres to Wed This Weekend

Ellen Degeneres and long time girlfriend, Amanda Lee Rogers (yes, she changed her name TO Portia De Rossi) will be getting married this weekend, and I think everybody is with me when I ask: would a handy from Ellen Degeneres make me gay?

On one hand, I bet she has pretty strong, rough hands and she looooves the vag, which would make the answer lean towards yes. On the other hand, she technically has a vag and it would be HILARIOUS to see her trying to work my bone. It would be like watching a retard with a Rubik’s cube. First, he’d try to fuck it. When that didn’t work, he’d try to eat it, throw pudding at it, and then attempt to fuck it again (in that order). Yeah, Ellen and Lil’ Lok’ would get along famously. Maybe they could even get a sitcom...

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