Are all the planets aligned? Is there an eclipse on the horizon that will open a portal to hell? Are vampires going to walk the Earth's surface in the near future? What the hell is going on today?
Let me take a step back. First thing I read today is Kelly Bundy has breast cancer. Next, Morgan Freeman gets in a bad car wreck. Miley Cyrus has even MORE hacked pics - when is she going to friggin' learn??? I think she is trying to take over as the new Paris/Nicole/Christina/Britney/you-know-where-I'm-going-with-this. It turns out that Kid's Meals at most restaurants are chock-filled with calories!!! I would've never guessed it by the lack of ridiculously fat kids running around everywhere. I mean seriously, what the fuck happened to going outside and playing with kids in the neighborhood? You know, riding bikes, manhunt, a good old fashioned group ass whooping...And to top it all off, Kathy Hilton actually has something semi-intelligent to say.
Do yourself a favor today and stay home if you can. Or don't. With whatever it is in the air, your roof will probably cave in if you stay in. Just be careful. Crazy-ass signs of the apocalypse.
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