Thursday, October 25, 2007

Michael Lohan Takes Blame for Lindsay

Michael Lohan, who recently finished serving an almost two year sentence for DUI and beating the shit out of some dude, has taken the blame for his daughter, Lindsay, acting up.

Hmm - do we detect similarities? DUI? Check. Explosive violent temper? Check. Beating the shit out of a dude? Check (if you replace "beating" with "blowing" and "a dude" with "several dozen dudes").

When asked if he took responsibility for the way Lindsay has been acting, he replied "Absolutely. How can I not? I mean, we lead by example [glug, glug, glug, *gargle*, *swallow*]."

But Michael Lohan did the honorable thing and promised to make things right.

Lohan vowed "I'm going to take it all back. I'm going to separate my sperm from Dina's egg and put it back in my testicle. That way I will not be able to hurt her any more. I just love her so much *sob*.

Bless you, Michael. The world needs more caring, loving parents like your self. AHEM, Britney...

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