Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Jack Bauer going to Jail?


Some guy named Kiefer Sutherland plead no contest to his fourth DUI. The City Attorney’s Office is recommending that he goes to jail for 48 days. The weird thing is this guy looks a lot like Jack Bauer… But he can’t be, Jack Bauer kicks terrorist’s asses and sacrifices himself for the good of the nation. This guy just gets hammered and gets behind the wheel of a car. Plus this D-bag is covered in gay ass tattoos. Jack Bauer only has one tattoo and it says BMF (bad mother fucker) across his back.

Jack Bauer has no need to drive around in cars, sure he does on TV but that is only to make the show believable. The real Jack Bauer flies around in a chariot painted red, white and blue that is lead by 7 bald eagles. The real Jack Bauer is probably out there right now fighting Cobra Commander or the Shredder maybe even the Joker. Not sitting in a jail ceil sobering up.

This guy must be some futuristic robot sent to destroy Jack Bauer’s reputation. Oh man… this shit just got deep. That means some terrorist group built a time machine and a cybernetic organism that can mimic people and get drunk. It has got to be the Russians. Damn Ruskies!!!

1 comment:

kramer said...

God dam Ruskies, don't let them see the big screen!