Thursday, October 11, 2007

I hope you still have your survival packs from the Y2K scare.


Madonna is reportedly about to sign a 120 million dollar contract with Live Nation recording studio. 120 million… I haven’t seen such a waste of money since the iPhone… Oh got you Steve Jobs… FACEPUSH…

Madonna is like 60 years old, what the hell is she going to write about for her new songs? How technology scares her? How she loves her Life Alert necklace? I highly doubt “Like a Virgin” will sound that great coming from a woman with a walker and a crooked back. What has she done since… since… umm… kissing Brittney Spears?

Wait, what has Brittney Spears done since kissing Madonna? Got fat, walked in a public restroom without shoes on, got married, had two kids, got divorced, showed her vertical smile, shaved her head, went to rehab twice, attacked a car with an umbrella, lost her kids, stopped talking to her mom, looked lost and lazy eyed at the VMA’s…

Oh my god it is Kabbalah!! Run, hide, lock your doors, Kabbalah may be coming for you next!!! I hear it needs to drink the blood of a virgin, thank god I am safe. What! I am safe, I swear… I have totally done it before, like mad times, so many I can’t count. Seriously… Stop looking at me like that. Fine, I don’t care what you think… I REALLY DID!

2 comments:

Kramer said...

Madonna may be 60, but I'd still tap that...although that's not saying much

Blogger said...

There's a chance you're qualified for a complimentary Apple iPhone 7.