Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I'm hot as fire baby, hot as ice

These have been the words ripping apart at my brain like a woman that has only had sex once giving birth. I'm proud (and thankful) to admit that I am not the lyricist behind such ridiculous drivel...it's the chorus from the new Britney Spears song, which is followed by about 12 "break it doooo-wwwwwn /break it dooooo-wwwwwn"s. First gripe - who uses break it down anymore? I think last time I heard "break it down" in a song, it was followed by a lot of "oohhs" and "pick up the hammer".

I hate to admit it, but I have spent the better part of a week figuring out what the f*ck "hot as ice" means. Granted, I'm a complete asshole for trying to find meaning in a Britney Spears song - it's like looking for the meaning of life in a scientology pamphlete.

But there has been a break through at last! After about 8 days of pondering - I have figured it out...

...Britney is a f*cking idiot. I know you already knew that...I'm the ass that took 8 days to figure out what I already know. But on the bright side, you now have more time to contemplate why Rikki Lake was ever popular or why do companies have to ruin delicious marshmellows by putting cereal in the mix. You're welcome.

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