Thursday, September 20, 2007

Chris Crocker to Get His/Her/It’s Own TV Show…What a Crock!?

A statement released earlier on the Internet claims Crocker is in talks with a film company to star in his own reality TV show. If you need time to go outside and scream or punch a wall to release some of your anger, I strongly suggest you do it now before you continue reading (I myself used a very common method, dropping a cinder block on my face).

First of all, I want to know what asshole sits in their office and thinks “Oh my God, we need to get this kid his own TV Show”. Seriously, whatever this person is smoking I would love to get me at least a bag or two. Does this person want their company’s stocks to plummet? Why hasn’t this person been fired? Why hasn’t someone sat them down and told them that people would rather watch me take a dump after eating Taco Bell then watch a show starring this kid? The only way a show about COCKer would work is if it involved him being tied to a wooden stake and each day I wake up and rocket a baseball at his ugly ass face. And it plays over and over again, in slow motion. I’m telling you that would sell!

When are these people going to realize that Internet personalities (minus everyone at PESU) are not funny and are horrible at acting, i.e. Andy Milonakis. Look the Milonakis show was funny for two episodes, but then it stopped. Why you ask, because these people post like 5 million videos every year and only one video ever becomes famous. COCKer’s video wasn’t even funny it…it was stupid. Also, there are claims out there stating that COCKer uses page refresh programs to make it appear that people are viewing his videos when in reality they are not. This kid is the Barry Bonds of you tube, and I for one don’t appreciate cheaters. After stepping back and taking a long hard look at the world I realize that we are on a straight path to the apocalypse…

5. The Sarah Silverman Show got renewed for a second season
4. Mind of Mencia is still on.
3. Captain America died.
2. A meteorite slammed into Earth sickening those who came into contact with it (AKA turning them into zombies who will one day rise from the dead and feast upon the brains of the living, except for me because I’m the man).
1. Chris Crocker is getting his own TV show entitled “Cocks or Vaginas: A Day in the Life of Chris Crocker”.


Paul A said...

The entire show will be about him shoving a 12"inch black dildo up his ass to the sound of Britney's I'm a slave for you.....where is the plague when you need it.

kramer said...

I think the guy that OKed that show must have been standing next to that meteorite...It's the aliens way of slowly taking us over, making us watch this crap.