Female Drivers

Maple Valley, Washington a woman who had been missing for eight days was found alive in her car at the bottom of a ravine conveniently located by the side of the road. Tanya Rider was extremely dehydrated and had cuts and bruises as well as some internal damage to her kidneys. Police and rescue units had to cut the roof off of her car to get her out.

While Tanya was missing the police started to look for suspects and even suspected her husband of foul play. While he sat down for a lie detector test police received a call with her location and went to the scene of the accident. Police managed to locate Tanya by tracing a signal from her cell phone…

Wait, she sat in a car for 8 days with no water or food… but a cell phone? Umm… Why didn’t she call someone? The police, her husband, Domino’s… Anyone!!! She would have been out of that hole the same day. You can’t tell me that you are trapped in a car for eight days and don’t think to yourself. “How can I get out of here? Oh I know I can take my cell phone and call someone to come and get me.”

What does she think she’s too good for cell phones? Is she above them? Of course she isn’t. The only people that are too good for cell phones are Jedi’s and she doesn’t look like a Jedi to me. If she was a Jedi she could use her light saber and carve a hole out of the car then jump back on the road. Then she can stop a car by using the force and then talk the driver into driving her back home by using a simple Jedi mind trick.

God this is just like a woman, to make something so much worse then it really is. “No, I can’t get an abortion, I am against it.” BLAH BLAH BLAH.