Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Next on the Auction Block, This Fine Young Lady's Hymen

click this link for article
This lovely young lady, going by the alias Natalie Dylan, is auctioning her virginity to help pay for her graduate school because "[She] wants to earn her Master's degree without having to work while doing her studies." I applaud Natalie for her extreme laziness. Hmmm, work for 4 years or get felt up/wrecked by some creepy old guy? It's a toss up.

Dylan's taken a polygraph test and is willing to undergo a medical exam to prove her v-card status. Man she's lucky that it's still in tact. My ex-girlfriend lost hers while she was riding a horse. And then again after having sex with several men.

Apparently, hundreds of offers have already come in, most (I'm guessing) are from lonely, old guys. Some offers on the table have been from male virgins. Dennis Hof, who is helping organize/legitimize the auction, says Natalie will be considering may factors in determining who she will make the lucky man, who will have an awkward, bloody, painful (on her end) good time. She'll be considering the amount of money offered and the man's personality. "She wants to be with a nice person that is going to help her continue her education," said Hof. Don't we all, Dennis? Don't we all...

Let's be honest here. She's cute, but not quarter of a mill cute...unless I get to keep her when I'm done.


Anonymous said...

And this differs from prostitution how?

Mr. Book said...

Why, it's good you asked anonymous. It is prostitution. Except she SAYS she's only gonna do it once. But sometimes after bein lazy, it's tough to get off of that horse...

Also, prostitution is legal in some counties in Nevada (where this will be taking place).

This has been a public service announcement from the Book coalition. Vote Mr. Book on election day.

Puck said...

oh man! you left out the most ironic part of the article!:

"Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master's degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She's selling her virginity to accomplish that," Hof told CBS13. "She's smart enough to sell it. This is empowering her."

excuse me for a second while i look up "empower" and "smart," to see if the english-speaking communities in which i've traveled are off-base. nnnnnope!
if Nads (do you mind if i call you Nads?) were so smart, she'd realize that NO ONE would want a whore to be (a) the one telling them how to have a healthy relationship or (b) the one giving advice on mental health!
...well... excluding reality TV celebrities...