Friday, September 5, 2008

An Elephant Never... um... Forgets?

Well. They've done it. They've FINALLY gotten an elephant off of heroine. About time. I keep seeing those elephants on the street trying to offer me peanuts for blow. And this one Babar guy keeps trying to hang out with me, when we both know the last time he was around, he stole my watch to sell it for crack. Don't believe me? Read the story linked to the picture.

This one elephant's traders fed him heroine-laced bananas to keep him manageable. The Chinese government found out, and they put the goofy bastard on an island for rehab for 3 years, all the while shooting it with 5 times the human dose of methadone. Now he's clean and making all his amends from the 12-step program. I've heard he's accepted that there is a higher power, but I'm still waiting on my call.

Now, I know what everyone is thinking. And no, I don't think we can trick Amy Winehouse into a vacation on a remote Chinese island, even if we DO tell her they'd shoot her up with 5 times the human dose of methadone. She needs at least 10. And she ain't goin' to rehab. No, no, no.


Sarah said...

awesome. ...awesome.

Puck said...

and who can forget about Horton, who made up an entire world of "Whos" because of his "poppy" fetish.

elephants... those heavy-lidded bastards. they're almost as tweaked as koalas; they WISH they were as bad ass as koalas