Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Keep Your Hi-C Covered When I'm Playing With My Aqua Dots!!!

Aqua Dots, also known in Australia as Bindeez, were recently named the toy of the year at an Australian toy industry function. Aqua Dots are beads that can be arranged in fun patterns and when sprayed with water will fuse together.

Personally, I love Aqua Dots, although I prefer calling them Bindeez. They even serve a dual purpose! My first order of Bindeez buziness is to arrange them into crazy designs (like the Easter Bunny giving it to the Tooth Fairy with a carrot strap-on) - the ladies LOVE that shit!

Hear me out on my second point...that is at least read through the end of the paragraph before you judge me. The second order or Bindeez buziness is that when they are ingested, they release a chemical known as gamma hydroxy butyrate - which is a commonly used date rape drug, which is why Spin Master Toys debated between naming their revolutionary product "Bindeez" or "Roofeez". Date rape drugs do serve one very important purpose - and that is they can be soaked in water with an Altoid and be sold to rich kids as Ecstasy. Yeah...those dumb little bastards have nothing better to do than eating craft beads...just like me when I was a kid. Wait - no, that was glue.

Well, now that the word is out, I guess it's back on the celibacy bus for me!

Ed note: The above was all written in jest and irony. Date rape and producing toys that cause comas, seizures, and death are fucked up.

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