And speaking of newly eligible bachelorettes, the Daily Mail has reported that Jodie Foster and her girlfriend of 14 years, Cydney Bernard, have called it quits.
Man, I am in luck!!! Jodie and I would have the greatest time arm wrestling, going to roller derbies, and every once in a while, she'd let me beat her in a round of golf to make me feel better about myself. Yeah...I'd be a sweet lesbian.
I'd do anything for my Jodie, up to and including killing President Ronald Reagan. Too soon?
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