Sitcom Wet Dreams

McNugget: Kelly Kapowski vs Winnie Cooper
Mr. Murdoch: Kelly is hella fine, she is like the dopest shit on the block, she dated both Zack Morris and A.C. Slater. Is this debate over now?
McNugget: not a chance in hell, you forgot to realize that Morris...although he appeared to be the man is actually a huge dork. Remember the episode when he came in dressed as a Native American for heritage day; he was the only one in the class to take it seriously. Also, Slater wore tight ass acid washed jeans, and tucked in his shirt. Plus he wrestled...in spandex
McNugget: Winnie cooper was giving Kevin Arnold handers on the bus ride home in like 6th grade
McNugget: how long did it take Morris to get real play from Kelly? Def took place during the college years

McNugget: what’s up now honky?
Mr. Murdoch: Shit, you obvs did see that shit then. Not only was Zack getting it but she took AC to the Dance off/ she dated a professor in the college years and he was at least 25. Bro this girl was legit
Mr. Murdoch: Oh and we want to talk about dorks. Kevin Arnold, are you kidding me, the opening credits he was jumping around like a pansy, and he couldn't even catch a football
McNugget: dude...when Winnie wasn’t sucking off Kevin Arnold in his family room she was busy chasing after upperclassmen

Mr. Murdoch: Bro Winnie Cooper was like a recluse during Halloween, you know she's got the goodies, but she ain't giving them out.

McNugget: when has Kelly ever flaunted anything?
McNugget: Winnie used to roll to school in her cheer uniform for no reason
McNugget: Winnie slept over Kevin’s house in like 7th grade
McNugget: you know they weren’t just sleeping
McNugget: also Winnie is just such an ill stripper name

Mr. Murdoch: bro Kelly was in that singing group
Mr. Murdoch: do you know how hot that group was?
Mr. Murdoch: Winnie is into math
McNugget: Kelly is into meth

McNugget: ok so Winnie may have been a bit of a nerd...but wouldn’t you like a girl that can tell you at what angle she wants you to be at in order to achieve maximum pleasure
Mr. Murdoch: maximum pleasure. That is a joke
Mr. Murdoch: more like a maximum nap
McNugget: Winnie was obvi dynamite in the sack...she was much more experienced than Kelly
Mr. Murdoch: that is because she is like 20 years older
McNugget: Winnie loves the cock]
McNugget: she can’t get enough of it

Mr. Murdoch: bro if you get Kelly you can prob rope Lisa turtle into a three way
Mr. Murdoch: and I know, I said I KNOW you can not argue with that
McNugget: yeah right....turtle was such a spoiled brat I would have to pay her like 10 grand just to take a picture with her.
Mr. Murdoch: You. Maybe, but not me.
McNugget: come on man...you know that since Winnie lived like 30 feet from Kevin Arnold she was def sneaking over there for some late night sausage
Mr. Murdoch: oh shit, do you have a Winnie Cooper?
Mr. Murdoch: haha are you tapping one of your neighbors
McNugget: no comment
Mr. Murdoch: a little Asian Winnie?
McNugget: I wish

McNugget: its time for me to end this argument...I’m brining out the big guns
McNugget: Winnie cooper let Kevin Arnold bang her in a fucking barn
McNugget: she lost her V-card in a barn to someone she wasn’t even dating at the time
Mr. Murdoch: wow, really?
McNugget: yes
McNugget: wow really

Mr. Murdoch: with hay on her butt?
McNugget: junior in HS and she’s getting drilled next to a cow
Mr. Murdoch: so like there were horses and poop all over?
Mr. Murdoch: holes in the roof? Dirt on the ground. Shit
Mr. Murdoch: that is like my number one fantasy

McNugget: all my life I’ve been looking to bang a girl in a smelly place...like my bedroom
McNugget: Kelly and Zack didn’t knock boots until wedding in Las Vegas made for TV movie

The Funnier Martial Arts Viral Video

VS




McNugget: Star Wars Kid
Mr. Murdoch: Afro Ninja

Mr. Murdoch: ok personally I love the fact that he gives you that little face before he jumps like, "Ohh, I am the fucking man. You are going to love this shit I am about to do. Ladies make sure you don't look away"
McNugget: see your video was funny because it was a mistake
McNugget: this guy made this video as a serious thing and his friends posted it online
McNugget : for god sakes the star wars kid makes his own sound effects
Mr. Murdoch: Ha-ha yeah that is a great video, but that is a retarded kid doing a retarded thing. I feel bad. He obvs has trouble making friends. He is sitting in his high school after school when no one is around taping himself swinging a mic stand. It is like the Never Ending Story except there is not Valcor to come and save him.
Mr. Murdoch: it makes me sad; don't get me wrong it is really funny, but with a hint of sadness, kind of like Special Olympics
McNugget: that’s why it’s funny

McNugget: look your guy is not a bad looking guy, I’m sure he gets laid on the reg
McNugget: but this kid....you just know he’s got nothing going for him
McNugget: his clothes are too tight, he has zero motor skills, and he's got a 5 dollar haircut.

Mr. Murdoch: You find no joy in this guy thinking he is the man and then just eating shit. I mean he hits his head, bounces back up and then starts swinging the nunchaku as if he didn't just slam his face hard as shit.
Mr. Murdoch: when he gets up and swings the chuck I almost peed my pants
McNugget: sometimes I wish you did pee your pants so I could make fun of you
Mr. Murdoch: I just love the fact that this guy thinks he is going to do something awesome and most likely then next thing, he wakes up in the hospital.

McNugget: also it’s proven that fat people are funnier than skinny people
McNugget: scientific fact
Mr. Murdoch: Ohh, yeah that is a nice point.
Mr. Murdoch: Fatties are funnier,

McNugget: look he did dos something awesome...I could never have gotten that far in a flip
Mr. Murdoch: haha come on

Mr. Murdoch: ok let’s break this down:
Mr. Murdoch: give me three reasons why Star wars kid is funnier
McNugget: well for one thing...Whoppi Goldberg doesn’t appear at the end of the video
McNugget: second...his shirt is so tight that you see his fat baby fat gut
McNugget: third...he’s more talented because he does different scenes
McNugget: I just wish he put in the famous princess lea and the gold bikini scene.

Mr. Murdoch: 1) That little kissy face Afro ninja does before he face plants.
Mr. Murdoch: 2) The sound that his face then shoes make when he hits the ground.
Mr. Murdoch: 3) He gets up with the full intention of continuing his routine as if he didn't just knock himself partially unconscious.
Mr. Murdoch: oh and Whoppi appears at the end
Mr. Murdoch: PESU loves Whoppi

Mr. Murdoch: but tell me you can keep a straight face as he tries to swing the nunchaku
McNugget: dude, nothing about me is straight
Mr. Murdoch: ...

Hippo vs Bull

VS.

McNugget: 1 the bull is faster on open ground
McNugget: 2 the bull has horns
McNugget: and C have you ever seen the size of a bulls balls....thing must be pumped full of testosterone.

Mr. Murdoch: the bulls speed seems like a huge advantage but it is a little known fact that hippos have been clocked at over 30 mph on land
Mr. Murdoch: that isn't exactly standing still
Mr. Murdoch: the bulls horns seem to be an excellent weapon but after the original charge the most they can do is poke the mighty hippo,
Mr. Murdoch: the Hippos teeth will do much more damage
Mr. Murdoch: and well yeah the bull has huge balls but the hippo kills more humans a year then any other mammal in Africa.

McNugget: the bulls horns, when reached at top speed can easily penetrate the hippo’s skin, and it aimed at the eye would cause permanent damage
McNugget: a hippo could never fit a bull in his mouth
Mr. Murdoch: hippo has a huge mouth
McNugget: bull has a huge body
McNugget: how do you figure that the hippo could catch the bull?
McNugget: draw me a sketch
McNugget: seriously
Mr. Murdoch: it could easily crush anything
McNugget: anything?
McNugget: what about superman?
Mr. Murdoch: yup kryptonite teeth
Mr. Murdoch: if the bull attacked the hippo from the front, and didn't knock it out on first contact then the hippo would bit the bull and not let it go.

McNugget: hippos are gay
McNugget: half way through the fight it will get tired and go chill in pool of water somewhere
Mr. Murdoch: the hippo is bigger it out weights the bull, and def has the better weapon with its teeth
McNugget: the hippos average body mass along with its decreased amount of sebaceous glands don’t allow to be out in the sun for very long
McNugget: hence the term hippopotamus
McNugget: which in Latin I believe means "sun hate"
McNugget: also if the hippo is Hindu it cannot kill the bull.

Mr. Murdoch: you are over looking the simple fact that the hippo is truly the superior animal
Mr. Murdoch: people fight bulls
Mr. Murdoch: you will never see a person fight a hippo
McNugget: whoa whoa whoa
McNugget: first off
McNugget: wet backs fight bulls
Mr. Murdoch: yeah and if bulls can't even beat offensively gay dressed Mexicans then how is it going to beat a hippo?
McNugget: second, I fought a hippo last Friday night...she gave me her number but I threw it out...zing
Mr. Murdoch: everything always goes back to your attraction to fat chicks
McNugget: I don’t like fat chicks they just like me.

McNugget: the bull is smarter than the hippo
McNugget: if a hippo is so smart then answer me this
McNugget: if they need water to survive...why do they live in Africa
McNugget: tick tock tick tock
Mr. Murdoch: Nile River?
Mr. Murdoch: ha-ha
McNugget: psh
McNugget: hippos can’t use boats.

Mr. Murdoch: wait what says a bull is smarter? The don't like the color red, that seems pretty stupid
Mr. Murdoch: although I don't like clowns and that is pretty stupid but here i am, looking hot.
McNugget: uhh they can tell colors apart.

Mr. Murdoch: thanks wikipedia!!!!
McNugget: well I would have used encyclopedia Britannica but this isn’t 1996
Mr. Murdoch: yeah really that sucks for encyclopedias
McNugget: imagine if like your job was to write stuff for encyclopedias
McNugget: like what do you do now...become a cable installation person?
McNugget: plus your favorite singer is avril lavigne
Mr. Murdoch: well that is irrelevant
McNugget: I think it’s completely relevant
Mr. Murdoch: Hey hey, you you, I don't like your boyfriend
McNugget: shows you have no concept of good taste
Mr. Murdoch: taste? We aren't eating the bull and hippo