Sunday, June 22, 2008

Amy Winehouse is Fucked


The fact that Amy Winehouse is fucked is only news to you if you've spent the last 2 years living Burt Reynolds in Deliverance stylie. What you may not know is that Winehouse, 24, has been diagnosed with emphysema, an irreversible, degenerative disease that is usually found in elderly people with long histories of smoking.

Winehouse's father was quoted as saying:
"With smoking crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up ... She's got 70 percent lung capacity."

Other noteworthy emphysema sufferers include: Dean Martin (78), Ike Turner (76) and Johnny Carson (79). Winehouse's lungs have managed to catch up to to chronic smokers that are more than 50 years her elders. If you ever need a poster child to teach your kids about the dangers of drugs, look no further than this human cesspool. A few short years ago, she looked like this:

The before picture's not bad, eh? Her "after" pictures look like a cross-dressing, flesh eating escapee from Leper Island

1 comment:

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